


The Gift

by AmandaRex



Category: Scarecrow and Mrs. King
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-07
Updated: 2013-02-07
Packaged: 2017-11-28 12:56:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/674641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmandaRex/pseuds/AmandaRex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How does Amanda manage to survive the dangerous and life-threatening situations she puts herself into? And more importantly, why does Amanda, a woman who hates to lie, have no trouble promising she'll stay put and go on to almost immediately break her promise with no remorse?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Gift

**Author's Note:**

> Timeline: Amanda's childhood/early to mid-season three  
> Disclaimers: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.  
> Feedback: Please. Here or at amanda_rex AT yahoo DOT com  
> Thanks: All the thanks in the world go to Lynda and Cheryl, who have both made this story much better through their comments and suggestions.

Summer, 1957

Dotty reached the end of another chapter in her book and re-settled herself on the hard, metal bench. She lowered the book and scanned the crowd at the playground, looking for a distinctive head of messy brown curls among the children playing there. She found her daughter at the far edge of the play area, taking a smaller girl by the hand and leading her toward the slide. Dotty strained to hear and was just able to pick out her daughter's voice above the din.

"What if I go down the slide with you, will you try it then? I've been down it lots of times, and I'm okay, right? I promise you you'll be okay, and you'll probably want to go right back up and do it again when we're done!"

The other girl still looked a little uncertain, but Amanda kept talking to her as they went up the stairs. She held the smaller girl's hand and smiled at her until it was their turn, and then she arranged herself behind her new friend before pushing off from the top.

Dotty watched, feeling a strange sort of suspense as she waited to see how Amanda's new friend fared on her first trip down the "big slide," as the kids at the playground called it. She needn't have worried. The girl was beaming by the time they emerged from the tunnel at the bottom end, and as soon as their feet touched the ground, she pulled Amanda behind her toward the stairs leading back to the top.

"I'm Amanda," Dotty was able to hear her daughter say, sounding a little breathless as she kept up with her newly eager friend. "Do you want to be friends?"

"Sure! I'm Susie! Let's go!" the younger girl yelled. She kept running and Amanda trailed behind a little.

Dotty kept watching as Susie slipped a little on the bottom step, but Amanda was right there to catch her and help her back to even footing.

"No rushing," Amanda said, sounding a little stern. "That's what my mama always says. That's a good way to get hurt."

Dotty had to fight not to laugh. It was still odd to hear her daughter parrot back some of the things she said. Well, odd, but also completely wonderful.

"Okay!" Susie agreed, though she didn't slow down much as she scaled the stairs. They stood in line for the slide, then Susie went down alone as Amanda waited.

"I'm down! Now you slide, then find me when you get down!" Susie yelled, and Amanda started down the slide. Susie ran away, looking around and trying a hiding place before deciding it wasn't good enough. "No! Don't look until I find a hide and seek place!" Susie added, as Amanda emerged from the bottom of the slide.

Susie ran away, not really looking where she was going, randomly stopping as she considered hiding places. Dotty saw the girl running toward the swings, and she took in a quick breath as she realized Susie was headed for almost-certain collision with the kids on the swings.

Before Dotty could stand up or move, Amanda appeared to realize the same thing. She took off running across the playground, yelling, "Susie! You need to watch where you're going!"

"No fair, 'Manda! You were supposed to close your eyes while I found a place to hide. You're cheating!" Susie slowed down, turning back toward Amanda, but she was still straying too close to the area in front of the swings.

Amanda picked up speed as the girl took another step backward. "Susie! Stop!"

Dotty watched as the girl on the far left side of the swings really got up a head of steam, swinging quickly and powerfully by pumping her feet. She was distracted, talking to the boy on the swing next to her, not that she could have stopped her forward momentum even if she saw Susie entering her path.

Susie took one more step backward, putting her right in the path of the fast-moving swing. Amanda reached her just in time, grabbing the girl by the arms and pulling her around and out of the way. Dotty watched as the swinging girl smacked into Amanda instead, who was already off-balance with her attempt to help Susie get out of the way. She was airborne for a moment before she fell to the ground a few feet away, landing in an inelegant heap. Dotty waited for her to get up and brush herself off, but when Amanda still wasn't moving a moment or two later, she threw down her book and ran to her.

Susie was kneeling next to her, saying, "'Manda? Wake up, 'Manda!"

The girl from the swings was there too, tears already streaking her face as she said over and over that she was sorry, that she just couldn't stop in time.

"Amanda?" Dotty said, hurriedly sitting on the ground as she pulled Amanda into her lap. She tapped her cheeks lightly, willing her daughter to wake up. "Amanda?" she said, but there was still no response. "Can someone call for help, please?" she said in a louder voice, looking around and trying to get the attention of another parent.

Susie had started to cry, and Dotty heard a woman's voice nearby call out to her. "Susie, sweetie. Come here, she'll be okay." The woman came closer and leaned down to Dotty. "I sent my husband to the pay phone. He's calling an ambulance. Can't be too careful."

"Thank you." Dotty tore her eyes away from Amanda to look at the woman who'd answered her call for help.

"Your daughter?" the woman asked, and Dotty nodded affirmatively. "She's so sweet. She saw Susie watching the kids at the slide, figured out she was too scared to go alone, and took her up there. And I saw the way she pushed Susie out of the way of the swings. I wish I could have gotten there in time."

"Me too." Dotty wondered why she'd stayed at her bench so long.

"I worked as a nurse before I had Susie. Would you like me to look at her?"

"Please," Dotty said, and the other woman knelt down and checked Amanda's breathing, then pulled one eyelid up to look at her eye.

"She's breathing just fine. I think she just got the wind knocked out of her. Just to be safe, though, try not to move her any more," the woman cautioned. "We need to keep her as still as possible until the paramedics get here."

"I shouldn't have moved her, should I?" Dotty immediately felt horrible about what she'd done.

"It's okay," Susie's mom said, her voice low and comforting. "Just hold her still. Help will be here really soon."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Amanda had no idea where she was. One minute, she was saving her new friend from a collision with a quick-moving swing, then she was in this dark, quiet place with no one else around.

She thought she could hear her mother calling her name, but it was like a whisper and seemed so far away. She wasn't even sure which direction to go to follow the sound. She sat down, wondering what she could possibly do next, when she saw a flash of light out of the corner of her eye.

"Hello?" she called, standing up and looking around to try to find the light. It flitted past her, this time on the opposite side.

"Where am I?" She felt silly. She didn't know how a ball of light could possibly answer her. "What am I doing here?"

The light came up behind her, lifted over her shoulder, and then hovered in front of her. It was bright and it made her blink several times as she tried to adjust. After a moment, she was able to make out a shape in the middle of the light.

"You're...a little person!" She couldn't believe what she was seeing. She was too old to believe in fairies. That kind of stuff was for little kids and she was seven now.

"I am most assuredly not a person." The light sounded utterly insulted. "Not that there's anything wrong with being a person, of course."

"What are you, then?"

"I am a fairy," the little light said, and if Amanda squinted just right, she could see the fairy's mouth moving as she spoke. "My name is Sena."

"Where am I?" Amanda moved quickly to the questions that were more important to her. "And where is my mother? And when can I go home?"

"Slow down, child. I'll try to answer you. You are..." the fairy began, then seemed unsure what to say. "You don't have a word for it. I think the closest thing I can say is, 'in between'."

"In between what and what?"

"In between where you were, and where you're not ready to be."

Amanda's eyes grew wide.

"Don't worry, child. You will be back with your mother very soon. Normally you wouldn't remember being here, but when you people are here, you don't usually have fairies as visitors, either."

"So why do I have a fairy as a visitor?"

"I've been watching you." She flew around and caused Amanda to turn in a circle in an attempt to follow her movements. "You are an uncommonly kind child."

"I am?" Amanda asked, remembering many times she could have been more helpful to her mother or father, or to another child.

"I see that you don't believe me. You see the times you could have done more, do you not? You see them so clearly that you don't recognize the times when you turned the tide. The times when you lifted someone's spirit, helped your mother when she was tired, gave your father a smile after a long day at work."

"I try to make people happy," Amanda admitted, immediately feeling a little guilty for being boastful.

"You do make people happy," the fairy told her. "And you keep people safe. Such as today, in fact. Do you remember helping the other girl get over her fear? And later, when you saved her from being injured?"

Amanda tried to remember, but it all seemed very fuzzy. She could see those things happening, but it was like they had happened to someone else.

"It's difficult to see these recent events while you are here, child. You aren't really here, you see. You are simply a shard, an escaped ray of light from the rest of yourself. The rest of you is in your world, being cared for. You will awaken soon, child. I must hurry to explain to you."

"What do you need to explain to me?"

"I would like to give you a gift." Sena swept her brilliantly-lit arm upward. Tiny points of light, glimmering in the darkness, settled around Amanda. Amanda looked down at herself and it looked like she was glowing.

"What kind of gift?"

"I seek only to augment what gifts you already display. You were kind-hearted and self-sacrificing before this day, so those gifts, I cannot give you. What I can offer you, young Amanda, is the gift of protection."

"Protection? From what?" Amanda asked.

Sena raised her arms and hovered just in front of Amanda's nose. "From this day forward, when this child seeks to uplift or protect another, she will be protected by my magic. This shield will remain as long as there is power left in the light I have bestowed upon her."

"What?" Amanda said, not quite believing what she was hearing.

"Keep being who you are, child. I will keep you safe as long as the magic I've given you holds out. No true harm will come to you, as long as you follow your heart and do what you know is right. All I have done is honor the light within you, child. Try to remember that."

Amanda noticed the glow around her flickering. She looked down at her arm and gasped when she watched her arm disappear and then reappear.

"You will leave this place, leave me, in a moment. Good luck, child. I know you will prove worthy of what I have given you."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Sena, come back," Amanda mumbled, and Dotty stood up from the chair she'd pulled over to her daughter's bedside.

"Nurse!" Dotty called from the doorway. "She's waking up!"

"Sena," Amanda moaned, her voice sounding tiny and sad.

Dotty returned to the chair, stroking the back of her daughter's hand as she waited for the nurse. "Oh, where is that nurse?" she said, irritably. "They were all over the place when there was nothing they could do to help. Now that I need one, nothing."

"What does 'worthy' mean?" Amanda rasped, and Dotty's brow furrowed in confusion.

"Amanda, wake up now. Do you hear me?" Dotty wondered if the trick to getting Amanda's eyes open was to use her stern 'mother' voice. "Wake up and talk to me, Amanda."

"Mama?"

"I'm right here, Panda. You just open your eyes now, okay?"

"I'll try, mama, but it seems so bright here. It was so dark where I was, it's making my eyes hurt."

Dotty shuddered as she wondered where Amanda thought she'd been that was so dark. She had no idea what to think, but it certainly didn't sound good.

"You don't have to be afraid, Amanda. You can open your eyes. You'll get used to the light, I promise."

The nurse finally came in, bustling to the other side of the bed. She began to check vitals and asked her patient to open her eyes.

Amanda blinked a few times, looking from her mother to the nurse. "Where am I?"

"We're at the hospital, sweetheart. You hit your head and we needed the doctor and the nurses to look at you and make sure you would be all right."

"Am I all right?" Amanda asked, looking directly at the nurse. "My head feels a little heavy, but I'm okay. Can I go home now? I don't really like it here. It's too bright."

The nurse looked closely at Amanda's eyes, apparently liking what she saw. She leaned back and smiled, and Amanda smiled back.

"I think you'll be leaving very soon. I just need to have the doctor speak with your mommy and then I think she can take you home. Would you like a lollipop while you wait? If it's okay with mom, of course."

Amanda looked at her mother, and Dotty nodded.

"Yes, please. Do you have a red one? They're my favorite kind."

"Mine too," the nurse whispered, as though it was a secret. She produced a small, red lollipop from a nearby drawer and handed it to Amanda before she turned back to Dotty. "I'll ask the doctor to speak with you, and then I think we can get started on the release forms."

"Thank you." Dotty watched Amanda tear into her lollipop.

"Mama?"

"Don't talk with your mouth full, Panda. You can pull the lollipop out long enough to talk if you need to."

Amanda dutifully removed the candy before she continued. "What does 'worthy' mean?"

"You asked me that while you were waking up. Such a strange question to ask me, young lady. Do you remember what happened at the park? The reason we're here?"

"Not really. I just remember Sena giving me a present, and then I was here. I don't remember how we got here, mama. Are we far away from home? Did we take the bus?"

"No." Dotty tried to keep track of each question so she could answer them all. "We didn't take the bus, you rode in an ambulance."

"The big, noisy kind? Did they use the siren? Am I gonna be okay? You always say when we see an ambulance that we should hope for good things for the person inside, because they're really sick and they need to get to someone who can help them. Am I really sick?"

"No, sweetheart. You're not, but we didn't know that when we called for the ambulance. You weren't awake, and nothing we did got you to wake up. You hit your head at the playground."

Amanda squinted, trying to remember. "The playground with the big slide? The red one?"

"Yes, do you remember? You helped a little girl down that slide. The one who was too afraid to go on her own?"

"Oh, yeah!" Amanda sat up straighter in her bed. "Susie! She was gonna get hurt! Is she okay? Where is she? Did she have to come here too?"

"Slow down." Dotty gently pushed Amanda back into the pillow. "Susie is just fine. Do you remember what happened?"

"She was walking right into the path of that swing, and the girl on it was swinging really fast! She was gonna get hurt!"

"She didn't get hurt, Amanda. You pushed her out of the way, but you couldn't move away in time yourself. You got hit by the girl on the swing, then you fell down and hit your head."

"Oh." Amanda looked down thoughtfully at her lap. "Is that why my head feels kinda heavy?"

"Yes, and it might for a little while. They said you're okay, though. Just a little bump, no permanent damage."

"What about Sena?"

"You kept saying 'Sena' when you were waking up. Is that another girl from the playground? Or maybe you were getting Susie's name mixed up?"

"No, mama. How could you get Susie and Sena mixed up? Sena's a fairy. She talked to me while I was asleep. She told me she thought I was 'worthy' but I don't know what that means."

"You must have had a dream while you were unconscious, Amanda. Fairies aren't real, sweetheart. You know that."

"You know what, mama? I thought that too! But then I saw Sena, and she was as real as anything. She made me all glowy. She said it would protect me, as long as I keep trying to be helpful, like you said I should try to be. She said she did it 'cause I was 'worthy', but I don't know what that means."

"It means 'deserving'." Amanda still looked confused, and Dotty frowned with the effort of thinking of a way to explain the term. "It means someone thinks you've earned something. Something good, like a reward."

"Oh." Amanda drew the single syllable out as she thought. Dotty almost laughed, because this was an almost-perfect impersonation of her husband, who often did the same thing when he was trying to stall for time as he was thinking.

"But Amanda, there's no such thing as fairies. You must have had a little dream while you were sleeping."

"I dunno, mama. It seemed really real."

"Of course it did, Panda. And if anyone deserves to be protected from harm for awhile, it's you. I'm very proud of your behavior at the park today." Amanda beamed at her mother in response. "But, young lady, I'd like it if you were a little more careful with yourself from now on."

"Okay, mama. I promise." Amanda crossed her fingers behind her back. She didn't like to lie, but her daddy had once explained what a 'white lie' was to her. It was one that you tell for a good reason, like to avoid having to hurt someone's feelings or make them sad, and that's what she was doing now. Amanda knew that the fairy light would protect her from now on and that she was supposed to go on helping people as much as she could. She was going to do that, too, no matter how scary it might be. She'd promised Sena, after all.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fall, 1985

Amanda opened her eyes and tried to sit up, an action she instantly regretted after her head, neck, shoulders, and back all protested at once.

"Amanda!" she heard someone say next to her. It was a deep, masculine voice, one filled with both concern and relief at the same time.

"Lee?" she asked, wincing as she turned her head to the left enough to look at him and see for herself.

"You just stay put and stop trying to move around." He gave her his 'and I'm not kidding' look. "Now, they said you're going to be fine, but you have to stay on your back for a couple of days while you bounce back from the damage you took in that blast."

"Blast?" She searched her memory, trying to make sense of what he was saying. "I don't remember—"

"No, you probably don't right now." His voice dropped lower, as though he wasn't sure if he wanted her to hear him or not. "Don't worry, I'm remembering it enough for the both of us."

"Lee, what about my mother and the boys?" Amanda asked, stopping herself just in time from trying to sit up straight. "They don't know where I am, and I've got to get Jamie from school this afternoon. He was bringing home a big box of things for his science fair project and I didn't want him to have to carry it all that way."

"We've taken care of that. Your mother thinks you were injured while we were on location. She'll pick up Jamie, she remembered that right away when I told her where you were and how long you'd be. She'll probably bring them here to visit you tonight, I gave her your room number."

"Oh, Lee." Amanda tried not to get too emotional because she knew it made Lee uncomfortable. "Thank you. You know how I hate to have Mother worry if I can help it."

"I know." Lee picked up one of her hands from where it rested over the scratchy hospital blanket and encased it in both of his. "I know the drill by now."

Amanda felt her heart beat a little faster as the warmth from his hands transferred to hers. She tried to think of something else to say before the feeling made her too flustered to talk.

"Lee, are you okay? I don't remember how we got here. I mean, obviously this is a hospital, and I assume we were on a case and something happened. You look okay, but sometimes you can't tell if there's something wrong just by looking, you know? And if something happened...and oh my gosh, if it was my fault, Lee, well, I think you'd better just tell me."

"Amanda, slow down, okay? Maybe we shouldn't talk about that right now. I'm just glad you're going to be all right."

"Oh, it really must be my fault if that's your answer." She tried to think back and remember what had happened that morning.

"You really don't remember anything?"

"I remember we were working on the Hamilton case. Routine surveillance, though, until we followed him to that warehouse. Then the bug Francine had slipped into Hamilton's jacket went dead and we lost contact."

"Yeah, Amanda. That's good. That was just this morning. What about after that? Do you remember anything else?"

"No, I don't...wait..." She had an image in her head of Lee getting out of the car and heading away, into the shadows. "You went in after him, right? And I called for backup."

"And then?"

Amanda thought hard, trying to reach for the memory, but it just wasn't there. "That's it."

"That's it?" Lee seemed skeptical.

"Yeah, that's it. What happened after that?"

He released her hand and started to pace, raking a hand through his hair as he walked. Amanda tried to follow him with her eyes as he stalked around the room, but it was difficult to do without moving her head or neck.

"Will you stay put, please? I can't keep track of you like this." She fought the urge to sit up.

"You can't keep track of me?" His voice rose and Amanda winced. He was starting to sound angry. "You can't keep track of me. That's rich, Amanda. That's just great."

"I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean." She tried to keep her tone neutral. She hated when he was like this. One minute he was caressing her hand, his voice full of concern, and the next minute, he sounded like he was about to start yelling.

"I don't know why I'm surprised anymore," he raved, talking more to himself than to her. "I tell you things, things out of my years of experience as a trained agent. But is that good enough for you? No, no it's not. I might as well be talking to myself most of the time, Amanda, for all you listen to me."

"I'm really very sorry, Lee, for whatever it is that I did." Amanda blinked back her tears of confusion. "I don't remember what happened, so maybe that isn't the best apology, but I can hardly give you a good apology for something I don't even remember, can I?" She could hear her voice breaking up the way it always did when she was about to cry and she braced herself for this to set Lee off even further.

"The problem is, how angry can I be with you when you've just saved my life?" he continued, his voice softening a little. "I guess I'm just glad we're both still here to even have the discussion. And believe me, Amanda King, we will be having that discussion. Just not today."

"Could you please just tell me what happened?"

He considered her request for a moment, then began to speak. "Well, I slipped into that warehouse the back way, going after Hamilton. You must have watched those two guys pulling Hamilton's strings come in behind me. It was all a trap, and they'd set the whole thing up. They'd lured Hamilton there to get rid of him. The Agency probably would have thought Hamilton had been working on his own, that he'd lured me to the warehouse to get rid of me but got caught up in his own trap. The real brains behind the operation could then just quietly leave the country with those stolen plans, the ones we probably would have thought had been on Hamilton and destroyed in the blast or the fire."

"But what did I do?" she asked.

"I don't know what you saw, but somehow, you figured out they'd rigged the place to blow. Maybe you saw the detonator, maybe you overheard them talking, I don't know. You came in after me, yelling about getting out of there before the place blew up. I couldn't get all the way across to you in time, though, so I told you to get yourself out of there and then I went out the window. The place blew up not long after that."

Amanda's eyes widened. "What happened?"

"You got out, but I guess you didn't get as far away from the building as I did. By the time I found you, you were out cold, you had cuts all over you and a huge bump on your head. Our backup called for NEST and the ambulance that got you here, but other than clean up your wounds, there wasn't much anyone could do other than let you rest and wake up on your own."

Amanda wasn't sure what to say. She thought it over for a minute, watching him as he stared off into space, refusing to look at her. He seemed upset, but not really angry. It reminded her that she wasn't really sure what they were to each other anymore, friends, colleagues, partners, or something else there just wasn't a word for. She did know that they were important to each other, though. He must have been pretty scared, at least for awhile. She would have been, if their positions had been reversed.

"I'm really sorry if I worried you," she said, waiting for his inevitable denial.

"Oh, Amanda," he said, "I just wish—" he began, then stopped himself. "Let's just not talk about this now, okay? We got the bad guys, you're going to be okay, so how about we leave it there?" He patted her hand, and she understood that this—him backing down instead of pursuing this further—was also his tacit apology for yelling at her earlier. "For now," he added, his expression growing a little more stern.

"Okay," she agreed, then winced as she started to sit up before she remembered that she wasn't supposed to.

"You stay put." He gently pushed her shoulder back down onto the pillow behind her. "They said you'll be out of here faster the more rest you get."

"It's really hard to remember not to move. You know how you do things you don't even think about, and then you suddenly notice it, and then it seems like you're doing it all the time? Like if you suddenly notice your own breathing, then you just can't think about anything else?"

"Do your best. Who will type up our report if you're still in here laid up?"

"You will, mister."

"I'll see what I can do, but I can't promise the typewriter will make it out alive." He gave her the first real smile she had seen from him since she woke up. "Listen, speaking of reports, I really need to get back. Billy's gonna be two feet down my neck pretty soon. I haven't been back for my debriefing yet."

"You should go," she agreed, wishing he didn't have to.

"Hey, I'd come back afterward, but your mother and the boys will probably be here. You'll probably want some time alone with them."

"And you'll probably be too busy anyway," Amanda said, supplying him another reason not to feel guilty for staying away. He probably had plans, a party or a date or something.

"I could, uh," he stalled, "drop back later tonight, after everyone else is gone. So you don't get bored. Maybe sneak in something more edible than hospital food?"

She opened her mouth to let him off the hook, then decided she didn't really want to. "That would be nice. I can't imagine Mother will stay past 7:30 or so, the boys have school tomorrow and she'll need to get them home and in bed."

"Okay, I'll see you later, then." He gave her hand one last squeeze and turned to leave, then appeared to remember something and turned back around. "Oh, Francine's here. When she finds out you're awake, I'm sure she'll want to see you right away."

"Why?" She and Francine got along a lot better now than they had in the beginning, but the woman didn't seem like the hospital-morale-boosting visitor type.

"Billy had her stay here to conduct your debriefing as soon as you regained consciousness. It was pretty clear we wouldn't be seeing you around the Agency for a few days at least, and Smyth's gonna be breathing down Billy's neck to close this one out."

"Well, that's fine. Whatever Mr. Melrose needs is okay with me."

"You should be prepared. Francine wasn't exactly thrilled to get left here waiting for you. She might be a little...well, she might seem a little..."

"It's okay," Amanda said, cutting him off as he searched for the appropriate word. "I think I know what you mean."

"Yeah," he agreed, and then he turned and left.

Amanda stared at the ceiling, listening for the distinctive, impatient sound of Francine's heels clicking their way toward her. It wasn't long, just a minute or two, before she heard it.

"Amanda?" Francine peeked her head inside the room before she came in. "Lee told me you were awake. I really need to run this debriefing for Billy and then get out of here." She held up a portable tape recorder.

"Sure, Francine. Whatever you need."

"Good." Francine sighed. "I thought you'd never wake up. I have a reception at the Egyptian embassy tonight and I'll need at least two hours after I leave here to get ready. So let's get started, okay?"

"No problem." She wondered what kind of cold shoulder she would have gotten from Francine if her concussion had cut too far into Francine's primping time. "I have to warn you, though, I'm still a little fuzzy on the details right before I got knocked out."

"That's okay, we'll just cover what you remember." Francine started the tape recorder and then prefaced the recording with Amanda's name, the date, and the long string of numbers that identified the case she'd been working on.

Amanda summarized her recollections of the case as succinctly as she could, being extra mindful of Francine's timetable after she watched Francine check her watch several times. They quickly reached the point where Amanda's memory ran out.

"Do you have anything to add to your account?" Francine asked, the businesslike tone of her voice conflicting with yet another glance at her watch.

Amanda quickly added the details that Lee had filled in for her, noting for the record that they were not her own observations. She noticed the expression on Francine's face changed as she talked about the blast, and then Lee finding her afterward.

Francine closed out the recording and clicked the stop button, then stared at Amanda for a moment before she continued.

"You don't remember what happened inside the warehouse?" Francine asked.

"No, I don't. Maybe it'll come back to me later, but I don't know."

"You saved Lee's life out there." Francine gave Amanda a look so intense that she had to look away. "For that, I have to thank you, because Lee is my friend. But the way you did it took a few years back off of him."

"I'm sorry, Francine. I just don't remember."

"Oh, but Lee does. He couldn't stop talking about it before they let him in here to wait with you. 'She just stood there, Francine,' he said. Over and over."

"I don't know what that means." Amanda wrung her hands together even though the movement made her arms and shoulders ache with a deep, dull pain.

"He said you burst into the warehouse and started yelling for him. You drew Hamilton's attention and spooked him, and he started shooting at you. Lee couldn't even tell what you were saying at first, he was too worried he was about to watch you get shot. He finally made out something about an explosion and that he needed to get out of there, and he tried to get to you to get you out too."

"He didn't tell me Hamilton was shooting at me." Amanda suddenly understood why Lee had been so upset with her earlier.

"Of course he didn't, Amanda. No one points these things out to you, it seems. But someday, the outcome isn't going to be as good, and I'll be there trying to deal with a Lee Stetson who's lost another partner."

"Francine—"

"No." There was a quiet, restrained anger in her voice. "He was screaming at you to get out too, but he said you didn't move, you barely even ducked when the bullets started flying. He finally went out that open window, hoping you'd go after you watched him get out. He's torn up with guilt over not being able to get over to you, but Hamilton would never have missed him at such close range and he had no cover. He's still talking about how this is his fault. And you didn't have to see him when we arrived, screaming at us to call it in and get the alert to NEST. I had to tell him four times that we'd taken care of it before he would stop yelling. I'm not sorry you saved his life, Amanda, but you have to show some concern for yourself out there. It's as if you have no sense of self-preservation."

Amanda felt awful after finding out what had really happened, picturing Lee screaming to get her medical attention. As she tried to think of something to say, she started to feel light-headed, like she was drifting away and couldn't keep track of the thoughts in her head.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" Francine asked, but it sounded like she was so far away. "Amanda?" The blurry, foggy vision of Francine stood up, and the last thing Amanda was aware of was the sound of Francine's heels clicking against the hospital floor.

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The room was suddenly dark, and Amanda looked around in confusion. She was standing, but she'd been lying down a moment ago. In fact, standing should have been excruciating, but it didn't seem to be bothering her.

A light flashed past her and Amanda whirled around, trying to follow it.

"Francine?" she called out, remembering the last person she was talking to before she found herself here. "Lee?" she added, this time out of sheer hope that whenever she found herself somewhere she wasn't supposed to be, he would be looking for her.

"Oh, you're so different, child, but I would know you anywhere," came a strange voice, but one that seemed familiar to her.

"Where am I?" Amanda blinked at the harsh contrast of the darkness against the bright light that was somehow speaking to her.

"What did I call it last time? Oh! Yes, I remember now. You are in between. And before you ask what that means, I'll explain it the way I did before. You are in between where you were and where you are not yet ready to be."

"Who...what are you?"

"It's so very sad when humans age." The light's little voice was filled with palpable sorrow. "You forget so many things, and me among them. I am called Sena. I'm a fairy. I visited you once before, after you saved the little girl from being hit by the swing on the playground."

Amanda gaped into the darkness. She had a very vague memory of a conversation with her mother after that day at the playground. She remembered insisting she had met a fairy while she was unconscious, but her mother had eventually convinced her it had been a dream.

"You haven't completely forgotten me," Sena said, as though she had been reading Amanda's mind. "I've watched you, or at least the impression I can see of you as you move through your world. You've been using my gift. Very liberally, in fact."

"Gift?" Amanda tried to remember. "Oh! That's right! I dreamed that some kind of magic would protect me if I was trying to help other people. That's what I told Mother that day."

"You did not dream that." Sena sounded sniffy and insulted. "I gave you a gift, one that you have used quite well. You've used perhaps more of it than I would have anticipated, though, child."

"Sena," Amanda breathed, suddenly remembering all of it.

"Your friend was just speaking to you about being careful with yourself," Sena observed.

"Oh, we're not really friends, exactly," Amanda corrected.

"Ah, your friends are not always the people you would have chosen for yourself. Sometimes they are the people you need to have with you on your journey, not the people you want to have on your journey. She cares more for you than she would admit. You must have awareness of that, though the bumps on her own path will keep her from sharing her feelings with you."

"Francine is really just concerned about Lee."

"As you both are. I can see your gift all around him, child. He's awash in it."

"He has a very dangerous job," Amanda explained.

"As do you. You remember me now, my gift, do you not?"

"I'm not sure I believe it," Amanda said, honestly. "I do remember you and your gift, though."

"Then do you also remember that I warned you it would run out?"

"You did." Amanda could almost feel that something was missing, something she'd carried for a long time. "It's gone, now, isn't it?"

"It is." Sena nodded her head as she flitted around Amanda.

"I guess I should be a little more careful now."

Sena smiled. "I witnessed what you did today. I've witnessed what you've done each time you used my gift, in fact. I could not have given this ability to anyone more worthy."

"I think I've done what anyone would do." Amanda felt a little uncomfortable, but secretly, a little pleased, too.

"Amanda, I have limits to my magic. It's a pure accident of circumstance that I am even able to speak with you now, on the day when my original gift to you has lost its power."

"Original gift?" Amanda asked, sensing that Sena was dangling a clue in front of her.

"You are clever, for a person." The fairy winked at her. "My magic is intertwined with fate, with destiny. It cannot be a meaningless stroke of chance that I am able to see you just as my protection has left you. I originally planned to warn you that you must be more careful now, as the gift is gone. I think I shall surprise even myself instead."

Sena waved her arms and a familiar cocoon of bright light settled itself around Amanda's body. Amanda looked down, smiling as a subtle tingling sensation ran through her.

Sena flew to Amanda's ear, whispering this time. "I have restored your gift. Use it well. Use it wisely. I can sense you are about to leave me. I will miss you, dear child."

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Amanda opened her eyes briefly, only to squeeze them shut when the light proved too bright for her to take. Her head was pounding, her body heavy with a dull, unrelenting pain. She slowly became aware that there were people in her room, people in the middle of a rather heated conversation.

"It's called PTS," said the first voice, one that Amanda didn't recognize. "That's 'Post-Traumatic Seizure'. They are an uncommon after-effect of a traumatic brain injury such as the one your partner suffered this morning."

"The nurse seemed surprised that no one had ordered a medication that could have prevented this," came the second voice, one that Amanda recognized right away. It was Lee, and the harsh, accusatory tone of his voice sounded like it could cut glass.

"PTS occurs in only five percent of TBI cases," the voice began, but Lee cut him off.

"English, doc," Lee demanded.

"These seizures aren't common with concussions, and we usually see them only with very severe instances of brain injury. We didn't feel that Mrs. King's concussion warranted preventive measures."

"Well next time," Lee began, sounding more like he was in the interrogation room than a hospital room, "if there is a next time for you working with NEST, you won't cut any corners when you're dealing with an injured agent."

Amanda's mind got stuck for a moment when she heard Lee refer to her as an agent. He would usually be the one insisting she was only civilian auxiliary.

"Are you next of kin, Mr. Stetson? Or do you have a power of attorney I haven't been made aware of?"

"Don't you try to start backtracking to cover up your own mistakes." Lee's tone was even more dangerous now. Amanda decided she'd better put this argument to an end before Lee got himself barred from the hospital.

"Maybe one of you can just explain it to me instead of arguing and making my head hurt." She was surprised at how much it hurt to talk. Her tongue was swollen and painful, something she didn't remember from the first time she'd woken up in this hospital bed.

"Amanda." She felt her hand being picked up in both of his. His voice was easier now, more gentle.

"Mrs. King." The doctor's tone was businesslike, without a hint of the anger and annoyance he'd been displaying to Lee. "How are you feeling?"

"Honestly? Awful. Why does my tongue—"

"You had a seizure, Mrs. King. It's a side effect of a traumatic brain injury that we see in very few cases. You must have bitten your tongue during the seizure. We'll take a look at it here in just a few minutes."

"I heard you explaining it to Lee," Amanda choked out, the sound of her own voice unfamiliar.

"Don't talk if it's hurting you." Lee brushed his fingers against the back of her hand.

"You're being given an anticonvulsant now, Mrs. King. That should prevent further seizures. We'll give you more information about what you'll need to do when you're discharged. For now, I'll have a nurse come down in a few minutes to check in on your pain medication. Other than that, we'll monitor you while you continue to get some rest."

"Thank you, doctor," Amanda croaked out, and Lee squeezed her hand tighter. She heard the door to her room open and shut, and then she and Lee were alone.

"Don't worry, Amanda. I'm gonna make sure that guy isn't allowed within two hundred feet of an agent after this. Missing something like that, especially when you're already hurt..."

"Lee, they're doing the best they can. They had no reason to think this would happen."

"He said five percent of cases, Amanda. They have no excuse for taking a chance like that." He growled in frustration. "I hate doctors, Amanda. And hospitals, this whole thing."

"I know." She forced her eyes open even though it was a little painful.

"Please don't do this again, Amanda." She could see a raw openness in his eyes that he very rarely let anyone see. It scared her a little, that she could make him feel this way.

"I'm not sorry I followed you to tell you about the explosives." She knew she had to be honest, even as she watched the pain wash over his face. It reminded her what a heavy responsibility it had become, letting herself feel the way she did about him.

"Please tell me you're going to be more careful." The pain in his eyes told her that every word was costing him just a little bit more of himself than he was comfortable giving.

Amanda snaked her free hand under the blanket, paying for the movement with a sharp pang of pain. She crossed her fingers behind her back, hoping not to be noticed. She hated to lie, but her father had once explained what a 'white lie' was to her, and that's what this was. She could not deny him what he was asking, but she also knew she would do whatever it took to protect him.

"I promise," she told him, watching his eyes shut with obvious relief.


End file.
